saving iago.

INT. JEFF KATZENBERG'S OFFICE - DAY

JEFF KATZENBERG (42) sits at his desk in his amazing office. ROBIN WILLIAMS (41) enters.

JEFF

Robin, come in! How are you?

ROBIN

Not too good, Jeff.

JEFF

What's wrong?

ROBIN

I got a look at the Aladdin poster.

JEFF

It's gorgeous!

ROBIN

It is, but I thought we had a deal about the genie's prominence on the advertising--

JEFF

We do.

ROBIN

--because I agreed to be in my friend Barry Levinson's movie Toys before Aladdin--

JEFF

I know.

ROBIN

--and I only agreed to do Aladdin if you didn't build your ad campaign on me--

JEFF

We're not.

ROBIN

--because I don't want Toys to flop because of me--

JEFF

It won't.

ROBIN

--and I think this poster violates that.

JEFF

Violates. Yikes. Well, according to our deal, the marketing has to reflect the movie we made. And since Genie features in 25% of the movie, you said we could feature Genie in 25% of every movie trailer, print ad, TV commercial, and lobby poster.

ROBIN

Right, because you said that wouldn't make it look like he was the star of the film.

JEFF

Okay, so let's look at this thing.

Jeff looks through a stack of large poster cards until he finds the one in question. He sets it up on an easel.

The poster says ALADDIN. It has the Genie's lamp sitting on the desert floor, a cloud of magic smoke swirling out into a sea of floating characters. In the center, Aladdin and Jasmine on the magic carpet, surrounded by all the supporting characters of the movie, and towering above them all, in gigantic proportions, is the genie.

JEFF

I don't think it looks like he's the star.

ROBIN

He's half the poster.

JEFF

No, see, because these other guys are in front of him, so they're covering all these parts. If you measured just what you see of the genie with a computer, it would come out to 25%.

ROBIN

That's not what you did, is it?

TAD STONES (40) enters and hands Jeff a folder.

JEFF

Oh, Tad, come in. I want you to meet Robin Williams. Robin, this is Tad Stones; he's one of our animators.

Annoyed, Robin shakes Tad's hand.

ROBIN

Nice to meet you.

JEFF

You know what, now that I've got you two here, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.

Robin makes a lazy mock interested face.

JEFF

We just wanted to make sure you're definitely in for the sequel.

ROBIN

What sequel?

JEFF

The sequel to Aladdin.

ROBIN

Since when does Disney do sequels?

JEFF

Since we made such a good movie with you.

Robin makes a face.

JEFF

When kids see Aladdin, they're going to walk out of the theatre saying, "What happens next?"

ROBIN

It does leave you hanging with that whole happily ever after thing.

Jeff shows Robin some sketches from the folder.

JEFF

It's called "The Return of Jafar" and it's going to be even better than Aladdin. Otherwise we wouldn't do it.

ROBIN

Are Musker and Clements directing?

JEFF

No, they're working on another thing, but we got someone else.

ROBIN

Who?

JEFF

Tad.

ROBIN

Ted and Terry writing?

JEFF

No.

ROBIN

Tad?

JEFF

Tad.

ROBIN

Okay, I'll think about it.

Jeff tosses Robin the folder.

JEFF

Take some of this material with you, look it over at home with little Zack and Zelda. You know, it'd be nice for them to have a new movie they can see their dad in.

ROBIN

That's what you said to get me to do the first one.

JEFF

Yeah, but eventually they're gonna get tired of the first one.

Robin leaves.

TAD

You didn't tell him it's going to be smaller animation studios working with a direct-to-video budget.

JEFF

I didn't? Let me leave him a message and make sure he knows.

Jeff picks up a phone receiver and starts dialing. He hangs up.

JEFF

Better yet, why don't I take out a full page ad in Variety that says, "Don't work for Disney."

Tad grimaces.

JEFF

Of course I didn't tell him. I'm trying to trick a man into making an inferior product so I can then trick children into liking it.

TAD

It's not just about tricks, Jeff.

JEFF

Says the man who's gonna bring back the wacky genie to save Aladdin.

Tad scoffs.

TAD

You think he's there to save Aladdin?

Tad starts to walk out.

JEFF

Yes? Like, what are you...? Who the fuck else would he save?

Tad leaves.

JEFF

Fucking moron.

Fade to black.

INT. JEFF KATZENBERG'S OFFICE - DAY

Jeff is at his desk. Robin walks in and sits down.

JEFF

Robin, nice to see you again. What can I do for you?

ROBIN

You can explain to me why you're going back on your word.

Jeff makes a shocked face.

JEFF

In what way?

ROBIN

The genie appears in 25% of all television commercials. No more.

JEFF

Absolutely! I personally approved all those commercials myself.

ROBIN

I saw a commercial last night for the little toys at Burger King that made Aladdin look like a Genie concert film. You need to pull it now; this is not what we agreed on.

JEFF

Okay. I think I know what happened here. What you saw was not one of our commercials for the movie Aladdin. It was a commercial for the Kids Meal at Burger King.

ROBIN

So?

JEFF

So that doesn't fall under the umbrella of our deal. It's part of a separate deal with the Burger King corporation.

ROBIN

But it still advertises Aladdin.

JEFF

Think about this. Just because they eat the burger and play with the toy doesn't mean they're gonna buy the ticket. If anything, we're actually gonna lose some ticket sales from kids who get tired of the characters.

ROBIN

Oh, so you're losing ticket sales.

JEFF

That's right. In fact, a lot of those kids are gonna think, I'm having so much fun playing with these Aladdin toys. That makes me want to go out and see Barry Levinson's Toys.

ROBIN

If that's what you think, why did you even make a deal with Burger King?

JEFF

You ever just do something without thinking about it?

ROBIN

I'm about to.

JEFF

Hey listen, while I've got you here, there's something I want to show you. Just go into the conference room down the hall, I'll be right behind you.

Robin gets up and walks into the hallway.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

Robin enters to find a chair for him facing a makeshift show area. Standing at the center is Tad Stones. To one side is a PIANO PLAYER at an old piano. To the other side, we see a DISNEY EMPLOYEE DRESSED LIKE ALADDIN, a DISNEY EMPLOYEE DRESSED LIKE JASMINE, a DISNEY EMPLOYEE DRESSED LIKE JAFAR, and GILBERT GOTTFRIED.

TAD

Welcome, Robin, to our presentation of The Return of Jafar. We hope you like it and we hope you'll join us on this... adventure!

Tad throws a small flask of red liquid on the floor. It bursts like a smoke bomb. The room briefly fills with SMOKY MIST. Immediately, the piano player sings a bit of "Arabian Nights."

TAD

When you last joined us, Jafar and Iago were banished to the Cave of Wonders in Jafar's lamp. And as we open on a remote desert, we see Iago pulling the lamp out of the sand. From inside the lamp, Jafar screams for Iago to set him free. But Iago's had enough of Jafar and he dumps the lamp in a well as he sings his song.

The piano player accompanies Gilbert in Iago's song, "I'm Lookin' Out For Me." Robin forces a smile.

TAD

Meanwhile, back in Agrabah, Aladdin and Jasmine receive a visit from an old friend...

Jeff runs into the room painted blue, with gold cuffs on his wrists and baggy sparkle pants.

JEFF

It's me, the genie!

The piano player accompanies Jeff in the following:

JEFF

(singing/vamping)

I've been to this place here / and that place there / and something something / and something that rhymes / and there's nothing like a friend! / And this is a friend song / and funny impressions / and funny voices / dah dah dah dah dah dah dah

Jeff smacks the piano to stop the guy from playing.

JEFF

Stop it!

(to Robin)

You get the idea. But of course all the genie's stuff has been left mostly unwritten, to leave room for your funny characters and... pop culture references...

GILBERT

(grating)

Hey, I have a question. Why is he still a big blue guy? Jafar was a human before he became a big red genie, so why when the genie is freed from being a genie, he's still a big blue guy named Genie?

JEFF

Because it's a cartoon.

GILBERT

(grating)

And why does he put on the golden shackles again, that he had to wear for millions and millions of years? That's like if Abraham Lincoln had freed the slaves and black people decided, we love freedom, but let's just keep wearing these big iron shackles on our wrists.

JEFF

Gilbert, I think there's some crackers for you on the snack table.

ROBIN

Hold on, didn't we end the first one with him wandering the earth as the little merchant?

JEFF

No, we cut the closing bookend. No one knows the singing merchant is the genie now.

ROBIN

So he's just a four-fingered merchant with my voice? And he narrates the story but you never come back to him? Why did you cut that?

JEFF

Pacing.

ROBIN

You cut the big reveal of the whole movie for pacing?

JEFF

Can we finish the presentation? We still have two songs to go.

ROBIN

What happens in the songs?

JEFF

Well, the first one is an Iago duet with Jasmine where he tricks her into falling in love with Aladdin again. Because Jasmine hates Aladdin. Because he didn't tell her that he's friends with Iago now. Because Iago switched sides.

ROBIN

And the second one?

JEFF

That's our showstopper. It's kinda like your big number from the first one, except this time it's Jafar's song, and it's all about him humiliating you with his superior powers.

ROBIN

Is that the last song in the movie?

JEFF

Yes.

ROBIN

Does Aladdin do anything?

JEFF

He's there throughout.

Robin stands up.

ROBIN

Okay. Listen, good luck with the movie, but I'm just not interested. Nice to see everyone again.

Robin leaves.

GILBERT

(grating)

This is great. He doesn't even have to see the movie now when it comes out because you already told him the whole story. How do I get that deal?

Jeff silently fumes.

INT. SMALL ROOM - DAY

A cramped, windowless room with an old computer on a plastic card table. Sitting at the computer is JOHN MUSKER, 39. Sitting nearby with a sketch pad is RON CLEMENTS, 39. Jeff bursts in, still blue in his genie costume.

JEFF

How's Hercules going?

RON

A little slow.

JEFF

Slow? Why?

JOHN

We're just having a hard time nailing down Hades.

JEFF

Who the fuck is Hades?

RON

The villain.

JEFF

How hard is it to write a villain? Just have him say evil shit!

Jeff's cell phone rings. He answers it.

JEFF

Roger, talk to me, babe. What? No. I told you to deal with that. Simba has to take down Scar. It's not my fault you blew your budget before you could cast an adult Simba who doesn't sound like a pussy. You have to fix it in the fight scene. Make it scary! Fire and brimstone! I want kids to piss themselves during this movie. Now either give this lion some balls or I will chop off yours.

Jeff hangs up and looks at Ron and John.

JEFF

Finish the script you fucking assholes.

Jeff leaves. John looks at Ron. Ron is just finishing a sketch. He turns over the sketchpad and shows it to John. It's a caricature of Jeff Katzenberg, in shades of blue, yelling with sharp teeth and flames for hair. Hades.

JOHN

Yeah.

Fade to black.

INT. JEFF KATZENBERG'S OFFICE - DAY

Jeff is at his desk. Robin walks in and sits down.

JEFF

Robin, to what do I owe the pleasure?

ROBIN

Your lies.

JEFF

(surprised face)

What?

ROBIN

Every time I come in here with a complaint about the Aladdin marketing, you have some sneaky justification for it, but not this time. I've been seeing ads at bus stops. Full posters of just the genie. That is a blatant breach of our contract.

JEFF

Oh my god. Robin, I am so sorry. You're right.

ROBIN

Really?

JEFF

I don't know how this happened.

ROBIN

Well, you should know, you're the CEO.

JEFF

You're right again, and I'm thinking about it now, cause it's just hitting me all at once, and I think I know what it was-- there must have been a misunderstanding.

ROBIN

I see.

JEFF

I'm gonna make a call immediately to get this straightened out.

ROBIN

I appreciate that.

JEFF

Listen, while I have you here. We're recording the voices right now for Return of Jafar, like literally as we speak. Do you wanna just come in and do the genie?

ROBIN

Haven't you hired someone else?

JEFF

I'll fire him. Everything he's recorded so far, I will throw in the garbage. We'll start fresh. No bullshit.

ROBIN

I don't think so.

Robin gets up to leave.

JEFF

If you change your mind, the offer stands.

ROBIN

I know.

Robin leaves.

Jeff sighs. He slowly walks out of his office.

INT. RECORDING STUDIO - DAY

Jeff walks into the director's booth where a VOICE DIRECTOR watches inside the recording booth as DAN CASTELLANETA (35) records his vocals as Genie. Dan waves at Jeff excitedly. Jeff waves back. Dan goes into a long run of lines. Jeff pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.

JEFF

It's me. Robin Williams just came into my office upset about Genie posters. We're gonna have to take those down. No, not all of them, what are you fucked in the head? Take down the ones in Hollywood and Brentwood and wherever the fuck else Robin Williams might see them, but keep the rest of them up! I want to see that genie's big blue butt in every bus shelter from here to Bangkok.

Jeff angrily hangs up his phone.

JEFF

Shit.

Jeff sees Dan is still doing his lines.

JEFF

And now we have to make a genie out of-- who the fuck is this guy again?

VOICE DIRECTOR

Dan Castellaneta. He does the voice of Homer Simpson.

JEFF

Are you serious?

VOICE DIRECTOR

But he can do lots of voices and impressions.

JEFF

Tell him to do an impression of Robin fucking Williams.

DAN

How was that, Jeff?

Jeff presses the talk button.

JEFF

You're spinnin' gold here, Dan. Twenty-four karat fucking gold.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

Jeff walks back to his office.

INT. JEFF KATZENBERG'S OFFICE - DAY

Jeff sits at his desk staring dead-eyed out the window. A speakerphone buzzes.

SECRETARY (O.S.)

(through the speakerphone)

Mr. Katzenberg, I have Michael Eisner for you.

JEFF

Put him through.

MICHAEL (O.S.)

Jeff?

JEFF

Michael.

MICHAEL (O.S.)

I was just looking over some of this Aladdin sequel stuff, and I'm having some concerns.

JEFF

What concerns?

MICHAEL (O.S.)

We're using TV resources to make a sequel to our greatest theatrical hit of all time. Is this going to de-value our brand?

Jeff is silent for a long moment.

JEFF

Do you like your life? You like your wallet full of money and your belly full of that weasel shit coffee?

MICHAEL (O.S.)

... yes.

JEFF

Return of Jafar is only costing us ten percent of what we paid for Aladdin, and it's going to be the biggest selling video of all time. Okay?

MICHAEL (O.S.)

... okay.

JEFF

Good. So shut the fuck up and go play another round of golf.

There is a long pause on the other end before Michael softly hangs up. Jeff continues staring out his window.

THE END.

this script was written with no obstructions.

to dream of cake.

INT. PASTRY SHOPPE - DAY

BLAZE, a handsome young man (20s), enters and looks around, making a point to relish the sweet air. He walks past some ARMED GUARDS and approaches the counter, where a STERN OLDER CLERK greets him.

CLERK

May I help you?

BLAZE

I'd like to order a wedding cake.

The clerk eyes him carefully.

CLERK

Do you know what kind?

BLAZE

Yes sir. The Banshee's Wail.

The clerk opens an aged leather-bound book and turns to a page showing an elaborate wedding cake.

CLERK

Of course you'll need your wife to come in.

BLAZE

Is that necessary? We're trying to schedule this kinda quick for family reasons and we have so many things to take care of before the ceremony.

The clerk slams the book shut.

CLERK

I don't think we can help you.

BLAZE

No no no, it's all right, I'll go get her. I was just trying to save some time is all. I'll be back.

INT. COFFEE SHOPPE - DAY

A YOUNG WOMAN (20s) sips coffee, immersed in an e-reader. Blaze walks over to her table.

BLAZE

Will you marry me?

WOMAN

Do I know you?

BLAZE

No.

WOMAN

I don't marry guys I don't know. Sorry.

BLAZE

Blaze.

WOMAN

Willa.

They shake hands. Blaze sits down.

BLAZE

What are you reading?

WILLA

Nothing Lasts Forever, by Roderick Thorp.

BLAZE

Cool.

WILLA

Why do you want to marry me?

BLAZE

Well, there's a pastry shoppe near here and they make great wedding cakes.

Willa gets quiet.

WILLA

Are you crazy? We could do hard time for something like that.

Blaze takes her hand.

BLAZE

No one has to know. We just go in, play the loving couple, and they'll approve us for the cake without a second thought.

WILLA

That's not me, okay? I don't do things like that.

BLAZE

Come on. Don't you want to taste wedding cake once in your life?

Blaze looks into Willa's eyes. She's terrified.

WILLA

This is crazy.

BLAZE

That's exactly why it's going to work. I promise. I'll take care of everything.

WILLA

Am I actually considering this?

Blaze smiles.

BLAZE

Trust me.

INT. PASTRY SHOPPE - DAY

Blaze and Willa are at the counter while the clerk quietly fills out a form. He puts some IDs on the counter.

CLERK

Here's your IDs.

BLAZE

We're very excited to try your cake. We heard it's the best.

CLERK

When would you like the cake delivered?

Blaze thinks.

BLAZE

Today.

The clerk glares at Blaze.

CLERK

I don't have to tell you the penalty for wedding fraud.

BLAZE

Do people even do that? For what, a little piece of cake? That's disgusting.

CLERK

Oh, they do it. The last couple who tried it got ten years.

BLAZE

Well, this is a legitimate wedding.

CLERK

Then you won't mind proving it.

BLAZE

How?

CLERK

A lover's kiss.

Blaze and Willa look at each other. Willa blushes. They share a long, passionate kiss. The clerk studies it very carefully.

When it's over, they smile at each other, embarrassed. They look at the clerk. He continues studying them.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

A really nice bachelor pad. Willa admires some art on the wall.

BLAZE (O.S.)

Thank you guys so much for the quick work. We'll recommend you to all our friends.

A door closes. Willa walks toward the foyer and joins Blaze. Together they gaze at the new delivery. A FUCKING BEAUTIFUL WEDDING CAKE. Five tiers. Artisan frosting work. Subtle pastel shades. On the top, a bride and groom that look identical to Willa and Blaze. Willa starts to cry.

WILLA

It's so beautiful.

BLAZE

You deserve it. You did great today. And we're gonna split this thing fifty-fifty. Right down the middle. I got a buddy who can do it for us. Now come on, let's get this thing in the fridge.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

We see inside the open fridge, all the shelves have been removed to make room for the cake. Blaze shuts the fridge door.

BLAZE

We did it.

WILLA

I can't believe it. Oh god, I feel so bad.

BLAZE

You are bad.

Willa grabs Blaze and starts making out with him hardcore.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Blaze's bedroom. What follows is an R-RATED SEX MONTAGE with the works. Candlelight. Sweat. Intense saxophone music. Cross-fades.

When it's over, Willa and Blaze collapse naked on the bed.

WILLA

You're amazing.

BLAZE

Listen to me. Tonight has been perfect and we both know what needs to happen now.

Willa sits up.

BLAZE

I'm going to get us a big slice of that cake and then I want to feed it to you.

WILLA

Oh god yes.

BLAZE

Wait here.

They kiss. A deep kiss. Blaze runs out.

Willa falls back on the bed, giggling in sheer bliss. She stretches her body out on the red silk sheets.

Moments pass. She sits up again, letting her eyes drink in the decor of Blaze's bedroom. She notices a bathroom and darts inside real quick.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Willa admires her naked body in the mirror. She notices the countertop is impeccably clean. She peeks in the medicine cabinet. Empty.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Willa enters, still naked. The lights are dim. From where she's standing, she can see inside the kitchen. No one there. Willa smiles.

WILLA

Blaze?

She looks around. A hallway. She walks into it.

INT. ROOM - NIGHT

Willa enters a room and turns on the light. The room is completely bare except for a moving dolly and some elastic straps.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Willa looks around. She notices something on the bookshelf. Walks over. Tries to grab the books.

They're all fake. Decorations made to look like book spines. She bumps into a TV and it jostles way too easily. She grabs it.

Cardboard. The TV is cardboard.

Willa looks at the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Willa pulls open the refrigerator door.

The cake is gone.

Willa starts shrieking and crying. She collapses in a fetal position, screaming until everything fades to a silent BLACK.

INT. BLACK VOID - NIGHT

SUPER: TWENTY YEARS LATER

INT. PASTRY SHOPPE - NIGHT

A different pastry shoppe than the one before. Blaze enters. He's in his 40s now. The years show. He nods at the ARMED GUARDS and approaches the CLERK.

BLAZE

I'd like the Enchanted Forest birthday cake for myself please.

The clerk checks Blaze's ID. He walks to a stack of cakes in the back and subtly eyes the surveillance camera.

EXT. PASTRY SHOPPE - NIGHT

A VAN sits parked outside the pastry shoppe.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

Inside the van, THREE COPS watch the surveillance camera footage live. One of them is Willa, now in her 40s. She's become a total hardass.

WILLA
(at the clerk on the screen)

What are you doing? Give him the cake.

INT. PASTRY SHOPPE - NIGHT

The clerk brings Blaze a cake in a box. Blaze quickly pays and leaves.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

One of the other cops, JOHNSON, pulls out his gun and goes for the back door.

JOHNSON

I want this son of a bitch now.

Willa puts him in a choke hold and slams his gun hand against the wall of the van.

WILLA

No! We nail this piece of shit by the book, or I swear to god, Johnson, I will ice you myself.

Johnson shakes her off. They glare at each other as the van starts moving.

EXT. STREETS - NIGHT

Blaze drives an old car. Several car lengths behind, the van follows.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

Blaze parks out front and enters with the cake. The van pulls up shortly after and cuts the lights and engine.

INT. VAN - NIGHT

The three cops wait in silence.

JOHNSON

You are gonna take the heat for this if we botch this collar.

WILLA

Okay... go.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT

The cops pile out of the van and move mechanically toward the house, guns drawn.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

A real dump. The door is kicked in.

JOHNSON

Police! Hands in the air!

All three cops round the corner to find Blaze sitting on the floor, the cake in front of him on a wooden crate. He has already cut a slice onto a paper plate and is halfway through it with a plastic fork.

He is surrounded by FAKE IDs all over the floor.  Fake IDs and empty cake boxes.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

Blaze sits at a table with his hands cuffed behind his back. Willa enters and sits across from him. He looks at her and a wave of recognition creeps across his face.

WILLA

Why, Blaze? Why throw your life away?

BLAZE

I've eaten more cake in my life than most people who live in the prisons society allows them to make for themselves. I have no regrets.

WILLA

They're gonna gas you. No hearing. No appeal. Nothing. It's over.

BLAZE

You don't suppose I could get one last slice, do you?

WILLA

Goodbye, Blaze.

Willa goes to leave.

BLAZE

You can look at me with those condescending eyes. But I know who you are, inside. I know that once upon a time, you were bad. And you liked it.

Willa closes her eyes. Rolls a tear. Walks out without looking back.

INT. GAS CHAMBER VIEWING ROOM - NIGHT

Willa joins a small group of OTHER COPS in a room full of folding chairs, a snack table at the side wall. The chairs all face a huge glass chamber with a chair in the middle.

Blaze is led inside the chamber and strapped to the chair. 

A MASKED EXECUTIONER stands by a switch.

EXECUTIONER

Blaze Hull. You have been found guilty of unlawful procurement and consumption of cake. Your sentence is death. Do you have any last words?

BLAZE

I enjoyed every. Last. Bite.

Everyone in the viewing room winces in disgust. The executioner throws the switch. The chamber immediately fills with gas. As soon as it hits Blaze, he screams in complete agony.

Blood pours from every hole in his head. He goes into violent convulsions and finally slumps over, dead.

The gas is promptly sucked from the chamber and a cleanup crew enters to dispose of the corpse.

Willa starts to leave, but notices something on the snack table. A cake with black frosting.

Willa serves herself a slice and takes it to an isolated part of the room. She cuts off a piece with her fork and slowly brings it to her mouth. She takes the bite.

Her eyes fall shut.

Heaven.

THE END.

this script was written with no obstructions.